Writing this quick blog while at the car wash. On father's day. Before we leave for Grace Place. So, this better be quick.

Blogs all over on how to celebrate Valentine's day. I'll take the other side where no one seems to notice: a valentine's day for the loveless. If you don't have a partner to celebrate the day with, or have been broken hearted recently, I have two things for you:

* You still have you friends. In fact, you can invite your single friends for a group date. Deo and his grace group together with some friends at Grace Place, our church in Makati, are going out tonight to watch a movie.

* You still have God. He cares for you. He loves you more than any man or woman can. In fact, you are the apple of his eye.

As for me, I have a date today. I'm dating my former girlfriend, with whom I have a son.

This picture (courtesy of Dos) paints a thousand words. Let me share some:

While I was speaking at our celebration at Max's, Johann is doing his own "conference". You can see in this image that my audience is listening to me. Actually, most of the time, they are not. They would rather listen to him.

Truth be told, when he speaks, people listen. Intently. He can make his audience captive. He can engage his listeners even with his broken English. His voice is clear, loud, and, the tone quality -- really good. His body gestures correspond to his emotions -- even his body speaks.

With guidance, this boy is going to be a better public speaker in the future than his dad. And I'm not jealous about it. Proud is the right term.

Perry Noble's post today disturbed me. I'm disturbed because I needed to be disturbed and I'm not getting it. Make sense? If not, here's why:

Craig Groeschel's book, “Chazown”  mentioned a prayer by Sir Francis Drake that says…

“Disturb us, Lord, when we are too well pleased with ourselves. When our dreams have come true because we dreamed too little. When we arrive safely because we have sailed too close to the shore. Disturb us, Lord.”

Too little vision. Too comfortable. Is that what I am right now?

I want God to disturb me in my relationship with Jesus. The danger of being a long term Christian is complacency. Too much familiarity. Jesus becomes a routine. And I don't want that to happen. I want Jesus to become fresh everyday of my life. (In connection with that, I'm writing a series of blog next week on "Falling in-love with Jesus).

I want God to disturb me in leading Grace Place. I want His church to do dangerous things. Things that have not been done before. Things that are short of sin. Everything to lead people to become fully devoted followers of Jesus.

I want God to disturb me in my relationship with Joy. I don't want us to be on status-quo. I want me to always offer her something new. I want God to disturb me in my relationship with my son, Johann. I want to improve, I want to learn -- being a father is never taught in schools.

I want God to disturb me. Humble me. Humiliate me for his glory. Destroy me and rebuild me. And then spring out a better, bigger vision for me as a leader, a husband and a father.

Are you disturbed?

I'm back from a holiday blogging haitus.

I don't normally start a year with a resolution. Instead, I set goals that I try to reach.

Here are my goals for 2008 that I thought I would share.

1. Learn 1 particular programming language. I'd like to try Java.

2. Be active in professional clubs. I'm a member of Philippine Internet Commerce Society (PICS) but have been inactive. Recent events in my professional life shows that there's power in partnerships within the industry where I belong. So I'm going to do just that.

3. Release one rockin' web application. Can't expose more details here, but it sure will rock.

4. Plan a really great weekend getaway with Joy for our 5th year anniversary. That's this July. Ganns gave me an idea. ;-)

5. Learn how to Communicate for a Change.

6. Release more blessings in writing through this blog -- it's.not.about.me.

7. Read the entire Bible in NLT

8. Be a better husband to Joy, a better father to Johann, a better leader to Grace Place and Team Sparrow, and a better follower of Jesus Christ.

There’s an interesting topic Migz Paras started on his blog. Being an IT professional, he talked about why he chose to still stay in the Philippines while his friends have been going out to work either in the US or Singapore. He tickled my senses because this is precisely my experience.

I've been a web professional for quite sometime. Joy’s a registered nurse. That combination must be a sure passport to the US. Why am I still here in the Philippines? My answer is philosophical and –I forgot to tell Migz in my blog post comment — spiritual.

I discovered two things:

1) that being contented (read: satisfied) with what you have is the key to happiness. In my opinion, my family can live a simple, happy life here in the Philippines even without the extravagance that money through working abroad can bring, and

2) if your purpose in life is centered only on bringing pleasure to self, you'll never be satisfied. You’ll live a life craving for more and never really enjoyed what you have. There's got to be more in life than bringing personal pleasure and earning big bucks. Here comes the spiritual part: I believe that my higher purpose in life is to live a life that pleases God AND to become a bridge for people disconnected to Him, therefore giving them the same peace, happiness and satisfaction that I am experiencing right now. Seeing people living life to the full is effort worth doing. As far as I’m concerned, no amount of money earned abroad can give that.

Disclaimer: This is just a personal experience. I am in no way judging the reasons why others decide to leave and work abroad.

While we Filipinos are basically a family oriented nation, I can see many "gray cow" families especially here in the city. A "gray cow" family is your typical "happy family". Less conflict. Daddy and mommy works while kids are expected to do good in school. Weekend is spent together.

Nothing wrong with this, of course. But how can a family be a "purple cow", something that is different, not just mediocre but excellent.

Some suggestions from an imperfect family guy.

* If you're a husband, date your wife. Oh, yes, dude you heard me right. You were spending time with her before, why not now?

* If you're a wife, don't nag. Anymore. At anytime. Zip it. Husbands just hate it.

* If you're a child, stop the PSP or the telebad once in a while and actually watch the boring news with your Dad. He'll appreciate that. Seriously.

* I miss this tradition way back from my former religious affiliation -- how about praying together as a family? Before you sleep or after your dinner, grab a Bible, read a passage and pray together. It's unusual, but great leadership from the father is necessary if this one is done.

Anyone who's actually doing any one of these suggestions in their families? Any other suggestions? Please share your thoughts.

My recent visit at my hometown made me think about vision and passion and how it affects my life. Here's how it goes.

My dad's building a house. And when I saw it, bare as it is, it got my jaw drop. The complexity of the design, the details, the sophistication of internal functions -- all got me into thinking, what has my dad got to do with this house?

You see, my dad is an electrician slash farmer. His undergrad is Education. But he is never an architech nor an engineer. So I had to ask him, what happened? Did he hire an architech to design this thing?

The answer is no. He designed it himself. In his head. No drawings? Yes. Probably some in a piece of paper when explaining to his workers, but no Autocad, no blueprints. Just the design, in his head. And he was dead focus in having it accomplished, according to what is in his head.

What is in his head is his dream, his vision for a house. His desire to pursue it is his passion.

Vision and passion are two commodities so high a price only few are willing to buy.

"What do you want to pursue as a career?" Nursing.
"Why?" Because that's the IN THING. It can lead me to my American dream. (Disclaimer: I have nothing against nursing and nurses. I'm just trying to make a point)

"How do you see yourself 5 years from now in this company?" Well, I may have been resigned by then.

"How do you want your family's relationship improved?" It'll never be. Look at how these people behave.

Lack of vision and passion.

Vision is the one that drives us to achieve higher things. It makes us uncomfortable of status quo. You do things not because its the in thing, or what people asked you to do. You do it because you have a vision.

Passion is the one that drives you to achieve your vision.

God-given vision is powerful. When you pursue your "sweet spot" -- your vision -- God will give you the "desires of your heart" -- the passion.

What is that "sweet spot" that you want to do but has been kept at bay?

Last weekend, we went back to my roots at Jaen, Nueva Ecija to celebrate my Dad's 62nd birthday. (File picture on the right, Johann was 6 months old). It was fun. I will post a 4-part series of blogs and pictures within the week.

The highlight of the celebration was when, before the afternoon party, the Adventist brethren from the church where I grew up, offered an afternoon program called "Adventist Youth Program", typically done inside the church but this time inside our compound to celebrate my dad's birthday and, according to them, to lure him back to the church. My dad is a "backslider". He is a 2nd generation Adventist. A very active leader back in the 80s. But somehow, he got tired of everything -- with the people, with religion  -- and has never gone back actively. They've been courting him back for years and they're seeing "positive response" according to them.

I want to tell him something. If only I saw a good timing, without hesitation, I will speak directly, without sugar coating. Year after year, my desire to tell him this grows. And so, let me use this piece as some sort of a bouncing board.

I want to tell him that he doesn't need religion. The last thing he needs at this stage of his life is a group that will give a set of rules (that he even got tired of in the past), make him feel good when he follows (like when he attends a Sabbath service) and make him feel bad if he doesn't.

A lot of you here know my spiritual journey. (My story here, needs update). I've also been having this what I call a holy anger against the legalism within the Adventist church. I've been praying for them. But at this point in my father's life, legalism will only eat him up. But...

I want to tell him that, at this point in my spiritual journey, I have resolved that I should not have anything against anybody going to church with the Adventists. I love them, I'm praying for them. I even want him to go there if he really wants to. But, there has to be something else, something that he cannot live without.

I want to tell him that while he doesn't need religion, he needs to have an authentic relationship with Jesus Christ. A relationship that accepts Jesus as the only savior of his life -- not any organization, not any religion, not trying hard to be good. A relationship that allows Jesus to become the boss of his remaining years (I'm praying for more) in this world. A boss that can make him admit his mistakes, asks for forgiveness and live life according to His way. A relationship with a boss like Jesus who doesn't fire his employee every time he makes a mistake, rather giving him another chance, and another, and another...

I want to tell him that he can start his Christian life all over again -- with or without the local Adventist church -- by admitting his spiritual bankruptcy to Jesus and then receiving the full pardon, the forgiveness that he doesn't deserve but is given anyway because God loves him so much.

I want to tell him that.

I hope, I pray for God's timing to come.
 

Many of you know that I have a 4-year old blog called Life 2.0 at http://arnold.gamboa.ph. So what can you, my accidental reader expect from this new blog at Multiply?

Blogging has been my cyber life since I started it 4 years ago. But I wasn't focused. I write about anything and everything under the sun -- which is typical of a personal blog. But this time I want to be focused. How?

Life 2.0 will now host hardcore topics such as politics, theology and technology -- three major subjects that bug my mind and needs outlet to be released in the wild to never come back.

This blog, loosely coined as it's.not.about.me, will be partially about me :-) but will be greatly be about my family -- Joy, my lovely wife and Johann, my son. I will also talk about Grace Place, my spiritual family. And lastly, I will try to share with you my spiritual journey, how God has been blessing me and some thoughts I am receiving from my quiet time.
 
So there, I'm officially activating the blog section of it's.not.about.me. (But of course, you are still welcome to visit my other blog). Anyone who wants to welcome me here? :D

Update from Life 2.0 - Why I love Multiply.com

Aileen Apolo opened up herself in her blog with this post about her past experience with a former fiance, then gave tips on who NOT to date. I like bloggers who open up themselves because, as far as I'm concerned, its really hard to do that. You can feel real life flowing in this particular blog post.

I'd like to offer 3 tips for my single lady readers, this time on who you should date. I'm not the original, this is based on a blog post by Perry Noble, one of the guys I admire for his passion for leadership. In this blog post, he told his new born daughter that many boys are jerks, do not settle -- then offered 3 qualities of a man she should look for. Here it is, in my own words:

To continue reading, Click here

Cross post from Life 2.0

I mentioned here about the changes that will happen within our family and the business that we run. So here it is: Joy joins me in the office and runs the administrative aspect of it. She does the macro management, I do the micro. This is both a welcome and scary change.

Welcome: well, it's obvious, I love my wife being around. I don't have to be home to see her. Plus, my overwhelming job at the office is cut into half. Now I can breath and focus on other important things.

(picture is my snap shot of Joy at her new, shinny, well-equipped, Mac-empowered desk)

Scary: this decision is tough since the guy who will suffer is no other than our 3-year old kid, Johann. Joy has been a stay-at-home mom since she gave birth to Johann. She's been very effective at it. She's enjoying being a mom to Johann. English is not our family's natural language, but Johann has learned it at this stage of his intellectual growth -- all because of her mom. Started yesterday, Johann has to spend the whole day with the yaya. It pains me to see him cry for her mom in the morning. He's not used see Joy leaving early in the morning.

I told you change is scary. :D But as what I mentioned in another blog place, "my gain is Johann's loss". But seriously, it doesn't have to be that way.

Read Joy's take on this change.